For too long, society has measured success by a framed diploma on the wall or a long list of titles after someone’s name. While education and credentials certainly have their place, they don’t tell the whole story of a man’s character, leadership, or impact. At The EFA Movement, we believe success is not just about what you know but how you live, how you lead, and how you love.
I know this firsthand. I never graduated from college, yet I’ve built businesses, led teams, and impacted lives in ways I never imagined possible. On paper, some might have counted me out. But here’s the truth: what opened doors for me wasn’t a credential...it was commitment, consistency, and a willingness to grow.
The “essentials” are qualities that no classroom can fully teach: integrity, perseverance, compassion, and clarity of purpose. They are the foundation of how a man leads his home, his work, and his community. When these essentials are in place, credentials become supportive tools rather than the measure of worth.
Think about it...credentials may land you an interview, but essentials build the trust that keeps you in the room. Credentials might help you get a job, but essentials help you inspire people, create impact, and leave a legacy.
For fathers, this lesson is especially important. Our children are not impressed by our résumés. They’re watching how we live when no one is looking. They’re learning how to handle setbacks, how to love their families, and how to stand tall when life’s waves hit hard. The essentials we demonstrate daily (patience, responsibility, and authenticity) shape their futures more than any title or certificate we hold.
The same applies in business and community leadership. People don’t follow a credential; they follow a person they can trust. They follow someone who communicates with clarity, treats people with respect, and leads by example. Essentials amplify your influence far beyond a job description.
At The EFA Movement, we challenge men to redefine success. It’s not about what you’ve collected like degrees, promotions, or titles. It’s about what you’ve contributed, the lives you’ve touched, the relationships you’ve nurtured, and the example you’ve set.
Every man has the ability to lead with essentials, regardless of background, education, or status. It starts with simplifying the process: focusing on the things that matter most and building from there.
If you’ve ever felt “less than” because you didn’t have the right letters behind your name, let this be your reminder: you already have everything you need to lead and succeed. Credentials can complement your journey, but essentials define it.
Success is not measured by what hangs on your wall. It’s measured by the impact you leave behind. And when men step fully into that truth, as fathers, husbands, leaders, and role models, we not only change our own lives, we transform our homes, our communities, and generations to come.
Every generation is shaped by the men who choose to stand as examples of what it means to live with strength, integrity, and purpose. Whether they realize it or not, men carry an incredible responsibility: to model values that influence not only their families but also their workplaces and communities. Male role models are more than figures to admire — they are cultural architects. The way men live today creates the foundation on which tomorrow’s culture is built.
We live in a time when the word “influence” has been watered down to likes, shares, and followers. But true influence doesn’t come from popularity — it comes from consistency and character. Children don’t remember every word their fathers say, but they never forget how their fathers made them feel. Teams don’t follow a title; they follow the leader they trust. Communities don’t grow because of empty speeches; they grow because of the quiet actions of men who choose to lead with purpose.
When men step up as role models, they don’t just affect the people closest to them. They set a cultural tone. They prove that strength is not about control, but about responsibility. They show that leadership is not about authority, but about service. And they demonstrate that real success is not measured by what you achieve, but by who you become in the process.
To lead with purpose, role models need more than good intentions. They need the essentials, the principles that guide every area of life:
These are not abstract ideas. They’re lived out in the everyday moments in how a father speaks to his children after a long day, how a husband supports his wife through challenges, how a leader treats his team under pressure, and how a man serves his community when there’s nothing in it for him.
When men embrace their role as cultural shapers, the effect ripples outward. A child grows with confidence because they see a steady example at home. A team finds motivation because their leader models resilience and fairness. A community grows stronger because men take responsibility for something greater than themselves.
One man’s decision to live with purpose can influence dozens of lives. Dozens can influence hundreds. And hundreds can create a cultural shift that echoes for generations. It doesn’t take a celebrity or a CEO to make that kind of difference as it takes an everyday man who chooses to show up with integrity and purpose.
Culture does not change overnight. It changes gradually, through the consistent actions of role models who stand firm in their values. Every man has the opportunity to contribute to that shift. By prioritizing respect over pride, values over convenience, and service over self-interest, men can help create a stronger, healthier, and more unified culture.
Male role models are not optional in today’s world. They are essential. Families need them. Workplaces need them. Communities need them. By choosing to lead with integrity, compassion, clarity, and consistency, men do more than set an example for the present. They build a legacy that outlasts them, shaping culture with purpose and leaving a mark that future generations can stand on.
In today’s world, men are often praised for how much they can grind, how many hours they can push through, and how much they can carry without stopping. Somewhere along the way, strength became defined by constant motion. But the truth is, productivity is not just about doing more, it’s about doing better. And one of the most overlooked ingredients of sustained success is rest.
At The EFA Movement, we challenge men to see rest not as weakness, laziness, or wasted time, but as a vital part of the process. Rest is not the opposite of productivity; rest is what makes productivity possible.
There’s a cultural myth that says if you’re not busy, you’re not valuable. Many men fall into the trap of believing their worth is tied to their work output, their income, or their ability to stay “on” at all times. But hustle without balance eventually leads to burnout. When you’re exhausted, distracted, and running on fumes, you’re not bringing your best to your family, your work, or your community.
True strength isn’t about how long you can go without stopping. True strength is knowing when to pause, recharge, and come back better.
Rest is not passive. I’s an investment. It restores clarity, sharpens focus, and renews energy. Think of it like the ocean’s tides: the waves come in, the waves go out. There’s a rhythm to the water that allows it to sustain its constant movement. Without the pullback, the waves would lose their power.
For men, rest works the same way:
Each type of rest strengthens the essentials of who you are, not just as a man, but as a father, husband, leader, and role model.
Rest takes courage in a culture that glorifies exhaustion. But the men who model rest as part of their process actually redefine what it means to be strong. They show their families that presence matters more than busyness. They show their teams that clarity matters more than chaos. They show their communities that leadership is about sustainability, not burnout.
When men embrace rest as strength, they give permission to others, especially the next generation, to live with balance, purpose, and resilience.
Here are a few ways men can start weaving rest into their lives:
Rest is not wasted time. It’s a powerful form of productivity that fuels clarity, strength, and longevity. Men who learn to rest wisely lead with greater purpose, make better decisions, and model healthier lives for those around them.
Strength is not measured by how much you can carry nonstop. It’s measured by how wisely you sustain yourself to keep carrying what matters most. And when men redefine rest as strength, they not only transform their own lives, but they help reshape a culture that desperately needs balance.
What does it take to be an extraordinary leader? Are they born with it or made?
When it comes to leadership, most people concentrate on what you do. That is only half of it. It starts with your “Why”. You have to know your “why” because what you do is not meaningful without it.
To go from ordinary to extraordinary as a leader requires you be true to who you are and why you do what you do. Here are some steps to becoming an extraordinary leader.
Be Transparent:
People relate to people that are real. Our skills, strengths, and accomplishments are all great but we also have weaknesses, flaws, and made mistakes. Trust and credibility is built by being honest and coming from integrity being who you are, which leads to better connections with others over time. Being transparent conveys your true values and principles which reinforce your character. Being true to your values and principles attracts others with similar values and principles that lead to more interdependent relationships with others.
Focus on Process Leads to Desired Results:
How you think leads to better clarity. It is through clarity you can be more decisive. When decisive you can take massive action. Results are a byproduct of the process starting with why you do what you do. What you do is tied to outcomes fueled by expectations that often go unfulfilled. This leads to codependent behavior which prevents you from being extraordinary leader.
Why you do it understands that results are a byproduct of the process. It starts with a growth mindset. It is the ability to understand that your abilities as a leader are developed over time through experience, trials, and tribulation. Your innate skills and talent alone are not enough. A growth mindset allows you as a leader to focus in the moment with the task at hand. Each task leads to another and over time to your desired results. It also compels people around you to find within them to take responsibility and accountability to do their part. This leads to a interdependent environment where desired results through the process can be achieved even through major setbacks and challenges. An extraordinary leader sees challenges as opportunities going forward to learn from as part of the process. It is applied knowledge in motion. To go from ordinary to extraordinary you need to get comfortable with discomfort. A growth mindset must become part of your success foundation. Extraordinary leaders actively seek challenging assignments for growth and development.
Must be Confident:
As stated, skills and your talent can make you an ordinary leader. but being extraordinary requires being confident in yourself and others. This is also part of the process discussed above. It requires daily habits and disciplines that get to the root cause of limited beliefs to resolve them. Two habits that can free you over time from limited beliefs are meditation and journaling. Your subconscious mindset has the ability to communicate to your conscious mindset when meditating and journaling daily over time. These habits over time become a pattern that creates the solution to your success foundation. They provide an extraordinary leader the ability to be present and more focused embracing the process toward desired results. These habits lead one from limited to limitless beliefs that raise your level of self-confidence. Others are attracted to confident people that lead to better results as part of the process.
Display Empathy and Kindness:
Extraordinary leaders know pleasing or enabling others leads to codependent behavior. Doing for others only does not lead to desired results. It is the ability to be the example for others that empowers them to take responsibility and accountability with their roles as part of the process. They come from empathy and kindness but know when to establish boundaries that offset codependent behavior.
Embrace Risk:
Extraordinary leaders are decisive and take action. This means taking calculated risks when it comes to innovation and other important changes in business. They are not afraid to fail as failure is part of the process that leads to desired results. They inspire others to do the same and come out of their comfort zone to be your best and not the best. Winning teams are built on being interdependent where communication is specific and concise while others fully understand each other’s role. They are equipped emotionally and logically to take risks that may position them better going forward.
Establishes Ongoing Trust:
Trust is ongoing. To be sustainable it is imperative extraordinary leaders be transparent daily coming from integrity, honestly, being ethical, and kind to others. Trust not only builds stronger relationships with others but also sustains them. It develops extraordinary leaders at every level whose actions and words are consistent with their principles and values.
In today’s business world, it seems to get more polarized and divisive each year. It is a lack of communication that creates this divide and often prevents companies to play at higher level, the sustainable way.
Empathy is powerful and can have profound effects how an organization or small business can elevate their business to the next level. It involves people first but always starts with you. Empathy is the capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another’s position. Empathy brings people together to do great things. It does not mean everyone has the same values and beliefs but can relate to one another to find common ground to do bigger things together as one. Let’s look at some habits that transparent leaders practice every day to create shifts not only for themselves but empowering the people around them.
Quiet, purposeful mediations done daily from within allow us to get to the root cause of our limited beliefs. It is hear we can observe ourselves from a third party perspective to see limited patterns that hold us back. It is here over time we can eradicate the root cause to these limited beliefs and offset the negative emotions associated with them. It creates calm energy that leads to clarity. With clarity, we become more decisive. As we become more decisive, we have the ability to take massive action.
This habit goes hand in hand with mediation. It is the ability to write down what comes to mind following your daily mediation without overthinking or overanalyzing your thoughts. The two habits alone bring clarity to build a foundation from operating within the solution rather than managing the problem. One has the ability to be present more often and make sound decisions with action that lead to bigger leaps in their business.
Reading everyday even if just one chapter sets the mindset to be more focused and organized throughout the day. The key is to read content that is relevant to your growth personally and in business. In addition, it is good to mix it up with content that is fun and sparks the creative side of your mindset. Being laser focused and organized with priorities that matter is the difference operating your business the sustainable way or managing the problem each day.
The ability to listen effectively is truly important. Most people listen to respond and not listen to understand. Learning how to relate to others upfront forges healthy and productive relationships. It builds trust and credibility with one another. Take time to learn how to relate to others to the best of your ability and listen to understand without thinking how to respond. You will always have your chance to talk. It puts you in a better position to connect and to do even greater things together whether if it is with a client or someone you work with in your business.
Nelson Mandela said, “We must strive to be moved by a generosity of spirit that will enable us to outgrow the hatred and conflicts of the past”. Conflict or disagreement to each other’s values and beliefs leads to nowhere good fast. It never leads to sustainable success in any situation including business. Coming from empathy and learning how to forgive creates peace from within and in time allows people to come together and do even greater things that serve others. A business foundation built on empathy and forgiveness is a good recipe for sustainable growth.
Transparent leaders know energy is required to bring these habits together to create empathy at highest levels. Taking care of ourselves personally creates an example for others around you to do for themselves. The key here is consistency as well. Being active or exercising 4 to five times a week coupled with eating right aligns well with these other habits to build a sustainable foundation. Take time to create a personal plan for yourself. Empower others around you to do for them. Healthier people have higher self- confidence to embrace empathy and take their businesses to new levels.
Let empathy be your new direction as a business leader. Look at these habits and being to incorporate them into practice at your pace. They key thing again is consistency which leads to a sustainable process to achieve your desired objectives in business.
Every man has an influence, whether he realizes it or not. Our words, actions, and choices ripple out into the lives of those around us—our families, our communities, and even people we may never meet directly. The question is not if you are a role model, but what kind of role model you choose to be.
Living with purpose starts with understanding that your life is not just about you. The way you show up each day—your integrity, your values, your consistency—creates a blueprint others can follow. True purpose is bigger than personal success. It’s about the legacy you build in how you inspire trust, motivate others, and help shape culture with intention.
A role model is not someone who projects perfection. It’s someone who leads with strength while keeping heart at the center. Strength without compassion can create distance; compassion without strength can create instability. But when combined, they build the foundation of authentic leadership that others can look up to and rely on.
Your example matters more than your advice. Children, peers, and colleagues often learn more by observing how you handle adversity, how you communicate under stress, and how you treat people when no one is watching. Every small act—whether it’s offering encouragement, owning mistakes, or showing gratitude—contributes to shaping culture with purpose.
When men live with purpose as role models, they shape not only their families but also their communities and culture. They show others that leadership isn’t about control. It’s about responsibility. They prove that masculinity isn’t measured by dominance, but by the ability to inspire trust and create unity.
Your influence is already present. The choice is whether you will let it happen by default or shape it with purpose. By choosing the latter, you embody what it means to lead with strength and heart—becoming a role model who makes a lasting impact.
Empowered Fathers in Action (The EFA Movement) is a registered 501c3 organization based in Danbury, CT
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